Losing a child is painful, having to go through funeral arrangements is also something a mother or father pray they would never have to do. Our daughters funeral happened on my husband’s birthday, another hard but sad occasion this makes both of our birthdays very hard to celebrate.
However, you have to move forward. We had another daughter who we cherished and if she had not been there, then the scenario would perhaps have been more heart breaking. I have always been a great believer that things happen for a reason and although the reason unknown we know our angel is there watching over us.
At the beginning of my second pregnancy, at about 13 weeks, I had a suspected miscarriage. I was taken to hospital and held over night for observations. The following morning I was taken for a scan to see if I needed an operation to remove anything left. The person doing the scan could not believe his eyes, he turned the screen around and said ‘ There’s your baby’. We were thrilled but asked what had happened?. He suggested that perhaps I had lost one of twins. This was sad but my baby was still there. I continued with a normal pregnancy until 29 weeks. I developed severe pains and went to the hospital in the morning. They did a heartbeat check and all was okay. No explanation as to the cramps was forthcoming so I was sent home. At 4.00 approx that afternoon I went back to the hospital again with severe cramps and the assumption that my waters had broken. Two hours later I was told my baby had died. I delivered her and held her. We named her Chloe Ann. She was perfect.
Our daughter Hannah has always been brought up with the knowledge that she had a sister. Both my husband and myself decided there was no way we could go through that again as I had always been told I would not have children, so to have one perfect one and then to have lost one, and nearly myself as well, we decided to cherish what we have been given.